Imzadi: My Version

Chapters Thirty-one and Thirty-two

Chapter Thirty-one

"I can't believe it!" Will said the morning of their anniversary, then he gave his wife a playful kiss. "We've been married two years."

Then he starts to nibble on her ear.

Deanna giggles and then they hear Will Jr. calling "Mama".

Will continues his anniversary wake up call with Deanna, by giving her gentle love bites on her neck.

She then adds with a laugh, "Yes, and even at nineteen months Will Jr. seems to want me first thing in the morning, too." Then she starts to get out of bed.

Will tries to playfully keep Deanna to himself by pulling her back down onto the bed. With a smile he says, "He'll have to wait his turn."

"Mama!"

"I don't think he's going to agree to that, Dear." She said, giggling again.

"Mama!"

"Yeah, I think you're right." Will said, giving into his son's desire for the woman they love.

"Dada." Came Kestra's voice.

"Well, there's a consolation." Deanna said teasingly. "Daddy's little girl wants him, this morning."

They laughed and both got up to attend to the children.

As they attended the children Will talked about the event of the evening that Lwaxana was throwing for them. He was not happy about it.

"Deanna," Will said. "Why does your mother feel the need to go through all this trouble for us?"

"Well, it is our second wedding anniversary."

"Yeah, well, hasn't she heard of taking the kids off our hands and letting us go out for a quiet dinner, just the two of us?"

"You know how Mother is." Deanna stated. "With celebration comes a traditional gathering."

"Well, she did that last year." Will whined. "You would think she would let us have this year to ourselves."

"Will," Deanna said as she walked with Junior in her arms to the kitchen. "Get use to it."

"Oh, yeah." He said following her to the kitchen with Kestra in his arms. "I'm suppose to get use to Lwaxana's behaviour and large crowds? Crowds of people who rarely talk with their mouths unless it's to a non-telepath, for that matter?"

Deanna turned suddenly, "And what's wrong with that?"

"Nothing, if you understand what's being said, but I don't and probably never will."

Deanna gave a loud sigh as she turned back to the food replicator. "Two milks, warm." Then she turned back to Will looking at him firmly and sent, "You've learned to understand me."

"Yes, but you're different." He said with a smile. "You're my Imzadi."

"And that's suppose to make a difference?" She said aloud while taking a warm milk out of the replicator and handing it to Will. Then she got the other one for Junior.

"I'm not sure I get your point."

"The point is you're use to me talking without using my mouth, but you can't get use to others?"

"I can understand you." He stated while sitting Kestra in her chair. "All I see with everyone else is just facial expressions and gestures. I don't hear anything. It's a little unsettling to be left out of a conversation."

"Tusche." She said. "I can understand being left out. What I can't understand is how you expressed it in the first place."

"I think you missed understood me, in the first place." Will stated. "I didn't mean it as an insult when I said talking without using their mouths."

"No, I heard your words and sensed your emotions and your emotions were that of frustration and the feeling of the strange and unusual." She said. "What do you want to eat for breakfast?"

"Strange and unusual is an emotion?" Will asked. "Um, eggs over easy and toast."

"Yes and no." Deanna said. "It's how you felt about it that gave me the impression that you felt it was strange and unusual." Then asked the replicator to prepare three servings of eggs over easy and toast.

"No, Deanna." Will said then added with curiosity, "Aren't you going to eat anything?"

"I'm not hungry." She said. "You were saying?"

"I just want to have a nice anniversary dinner that's just you and me." Will stated. "Nobody else and lovely conversation between just the two of us. No one else butting in mentally."

"OK, fair enough." Deanna said. "I'll ask Chandra to watch the children and we can have lunch together. Just the two of us." Then handed Will two plates and she took Will Junior's and sat down with him on her lap and started helping him eat his breakfast.

"Agreed." Will smiled and sat the plates down on the table. "Around noonish?"

"Yes." Deanna smiled back. "Where shall we meet?"

"How about that nice restaurant up the street?" Will smiled as he tried to wipe the runny yoke off Kestra's chin.

Kestra reached out and touched her father's face with yokey hands. "Oh, Kestra." Will said with a smile on his face. "Lucky for you, young lady, I haven't had a shower yet.

Deanna laughed. "Problems?"

"You don't look like you are doing much better yourself." Will laughed, looking at Deanna with yoke on her night shirt and face from Junior wiping his drippy hands on her.

"Well, that's just what happens when a young one eats runny eggs on mama's lap." She said playfully with her yellow nose pointing upward.

Will laughed again. "Why don't you go clean yourself up, while I clean up down here?"

"Oh, that's so nice!" Deanna said, rising and placing their messy son on Will's lap facing him.

"Oh, really nice." Will said with a bit of a chuckle in his voice.

Deanna then kissed his messy face and said, "You're no worse for the wear than I am."

After several minutes, Deanna came out cleaned and dressed. She saw Will was changing their son and Kestra toddling around.

"Well, looks like you had your work cut out for you." Deanna smiled.

"Yeah, but I held down the fort." Will smiled. "It's your turn now."

Will left the room to get ready for work.

When he came back out, Deanna had the twins ready to go for a morning walk.

"Shall we walk with you this morning?" Deanna asked.

"Sure!" Will smiled. "I'm sure Tang will be glad to see them again."

"All part of the service?" Deanna asked with a laugh.

"That's probably what he'll say." Will said also laughing.

"It's on the way to the museum and I told Chandra I'd meet her there today." Deanna said. "Which will make it very convenient to ask her about lunch, also."

"Great!" said Will smiling as they all walked out the door.



They arrived at the Embassy and Tang was at the door as usual. "Good morning, Mrs. Riker." Tang said cheerfully. "Oh, and you brought the little ones, too."

Tang bent down and talked in a baby voice to the two. "And how are we today?"

The twins made a gurgly laugh and Deanna could sense even they thought the talk was really silly of an adult to do, too. She smiled and sent to them, "Yes, I know, little ones. Even adults can be silly too."

"They must be teething." Tang said, noticing the drool on one of them.

Deanna wanted to say, "No, they laughed so hard at your voice that it just came out. You know how babies are." Instead she said, "Yes, they maybe."

Then Will turned to Deanna and sighed, "Well, I guess I need to get to work."

Deanna sensed he was not happy with his current position in Starfleet or with Betazed. He had not been for quite some time. She knew where he wanted to be, but he chose to stay here with his family, because he did not want to take them all on a starship at this time.

Will hugged and kiss Deanna. Then he hugged and kissed the twins. He then told Will Jr., while holding his little hand like he were going to shake it, "Take care of them while I'm at work, Sport."

Deanna laughed.

"What's so funny?" Will asked with a smile.

"You!" She said still having a grin on her face.

Will kissed her again and said, "I'll see you at noon at um... I wish I could pronounce the name of that place."

"I think you mean the Rubrikra." Deanna said.

"Yes, Roo bree kraw." Will said the name slowly, as though he were trying to soak the word into his mind.

"Oo, that's a nice place!" Tang chimed in. "Very fancy. Something special?"

"Tang," Will began. "You were there two years ago as my best man. You should know."

"Ah, yes and Mrs. Troi is having a big shindig tonight because of it." Tang said.

"Shindig?" Deanna asked inquisitively.

"It's a big to do." Will said. "Her dinner party could be called a shindig."

"Oh." Deanna said, then sneaked in one last kiss and departed to met Chandra at the museum.



"How are you, two, today?" Deanna asked Chandra, who was now seven months pregnant.

"Oh, she's fine." Chandra said with a yawn. "She gets to ride around and sleep all day after keeping me up all night."

Deanna laughed. "Welcome to motherhood."

"Gee, thanks." Chandra said with a grin.

They then went into the museum together. The babies were soothed by the music inside the museum and eventually went to sleep for a mid-morning nap.

Finally, Deanna telepathically asked Chandra, "I was wondering, could you watch these two while Will and I have an anniversary lunch together at noon?"

"Oh, how nice!" Chandra sent back with a smiled. "Sounds so romantic! Sure, I'll watch them."

"Thanks, Chandra."

"Will they be at the dinner tonight?" Chandra asked.

"Do you think Mother would have it any other way?"

Chandra giggled. "No."

They finished their outing at the museum and Deanna walked with Chandra to her house. She said her good byes to the twins and reassured them she would be back in a couple of hours. They were pretty good about it. Kestra fussed a little bit, but Will Jr. touched her on the shoulder and she stopped.

"Amazing!" Chandra sent to Deanna with surprise in her thought. "It's as though they have a telepathic language of their own!"

Deanna laughed. "They may have! Twins are said to do amazing things in that nature."

"But they are too, young for telepathy."

"Well, maybe as we know it." Deanna responded. "Well, it's time for me to meet Will."

"Have fun!" Chandra sent with a smile.



Will and Deanna met at the Rubrikra at the same time. Will smiled and kissed Deanna in greeting. "Good timing."

Deanna smiled and returned his kiss.

"Ready for lunch?" Will asked, offering her his arm.

Deanna, still all smiles, wraps her arm around his and says, "Yes. You?"

"Starved!" He said also still smiling.

They waited for the hostess to seat them. Once they were seated, Will asked, "Would you like a red, blush or white wine?"

"Oo! You are going all out!"

"Anything for my Imzadi." He smiled.

Deanna thought for a moment. "How about a white wine?"

"OK." Said Will. "Chablis?"

"Hum, make it a pink Chablis."

"Changed your mind and want to go with a blush?"

"Woman's prerogative."

Will smiled and just agreed.

Once they had finally decided what they wanted the maitre d' sensed it and returned to their table to take their order.

"Yes, we're ready to order." Will said.

"Good afternoon." He sent with a slight bow of his head. "What would you two like?"

Will looked at Deanna with a look that said, "What the hell just happened?"

The maitre d' sensed Will's confusion, but did not switch to Federation Standard. Instead, he looked at Deanna and said something to her. She responded back to him telepathically.

Will wiggled in his seat due to feelings of discomfort. Then he remembered something from history, which occasionally happened still today along the France and Germany boarder. "Could that have just happened?" He thought to himself.

"Yes, something like that." Deanna said to him, bringing him out of his thoughts.

"Huh?" Will said.

Deanna curled one side of her mouth, then said, "I guess you haven't ran into Betazoids who believe oral speech is for the feeble minded and non-telepaths, yet."

"Well, no." Will said, still confused.

"My grandfather had that saying and I hear he never spoke to my father." Deanna told him. "Some Betazoids still practice that belief and refuse to use oral mode of communication."

"So they feel they are better than non-telepaths?" Will asked with astonishment.

Deanna was not sure if she wanted to answer that, but finally said, "Yes."

"Sounds worse than your mother." Will said with irritation. "At least your mother talks to me. Not always nicely, but she talks to me."

"Well, she did marry a Human, too." Deanna reminded him with a smile. "So, you know she's not all bad."

Will fell silent for a short period. Deanna sensed he was feeling like he chose the wrong place to have lunch and felt bad for him. Not because he was not Betazoid, but because some Betazoids treated Humans that way, still.

Deanna finally broke the silence. "You know, Will, I'm glad we are spending this time together alone. It's been a long time."

"Yes, it has." Will agreed and smiled at her.

The conversation stopped again. Will became distant. Deanna sensed he was wishing he were anywhere, but on Betazed. She tried again to start a conversation, but the maitre d' returned and showed her the bottle of wine. She gestured to Will and he frowned, but poured Will a taste of the wine.

Again, ill at ease, Will sampled it and then nodded his head in approval. The maitre d' poured them both a glass of wine and left in silence.

"You know, this is getting damn annoying." Will stated in frustration.

"Well, we could always leave and go somewhere else." Deanna told him.

"No, no." Will said. "It's our anniversary and I want you to have a fine lunch for it."

"It's not fair to you, though." Deanna said.

"Maybe not, but do you know of another fancy place we could eat?"

She shook her head. "Not off hand, but if I had known it would be this way."

"Tang said it was a nice place too." Will retorted.

"Well, for him it is." Deanna informed Will. "I honestly did not sense anything else from him. If I had I would have told you."

There was a brief pause. "Will, if I had known about this place, I would have suggested something different."

"I know you would have." Will said in all honesty.

Their meal finally came and again, the maitre d' addressed Deanna and not Will. Afterwards, Will tried hard to make the best of the situation and the two of them enjoyed their meal.

"This oskoid is really good. Deanna." Will stated. "You sure do pick some good choices when you have too."

"Why thank you, Will." She said with a smile. "But you know, I did pick some of the things you wanted too."

"Yes, you did and it's all good." Will looked around the restaurant and started feeling self conscious again. "You get the feeling that it's awfully quiet in here?"

Deanna stops her fork in mid-air, stunned at his question. Then puts her fork down and tries to view things as Will was.

"Until you said something, I hadn't noticed." Deanna replied.

Will looks at her as though to say, "I'm sorry, I guess you wouldn't."

"Will, I..." She stops.

"No, it's ok." He said. "I forget you grew up here and you're use to this, what ever you would like to call it. I'm still stuggling with it."

She sighs. "Will, you know, you could always ask to be aboard a starship again and we could all move aboard. They are accepting families on some ships."

"No, we discussed this before and agreed it's best for the children to be here until they are much older." Will said. "And since I agreed to live here, I'll just have to eventually learn to deal with it."

"Maybe this was a bad idea." Deanna said. "Why don't we go ahead and leave now."

"It's ok. Finish eating." Will said.

"Actually," She began. "I'm rather full now."

"I thought Betazoids didn't lie." Will accused.

"We don't." Deanna insisted.

"Well, you've hardly touched your meal."

"I've really had enough." Then she added, "To eat."

Will took his napkin off his lap and threw it down beside his plate, still not quite believing Deanna. Then he placed his knife on a slant at the top of his plate.

"OK." Will said with frustration and disappointment. "Let's go ahead and go."

Deanna gracefully did the same with her napkin and knife, then she stood to prepare to leave.

In hopes to rescue their meal out, Will said, "If you're really sure."

"Yes, I am."

In silence, Will paid for their meal and they walked out together. When they were outside, Will touched Deanna on the arm and they stopped.

"Deanna," He said, looking at her. "I'm sorry if I ruined our lunch."

She looked at him a little surprised and said, "It wasn't your fault."

"Yes, it was." Will insisted. "I complained about the service and the environment the whole time."

"Maybe so, but you didn't start it." Deanna also insisted. "Their treatment, or at least the maitre d' we had, of Humans or non-telepaths was very bad, so I don't think you are entirely to blame."

Will looked away for a bit, then looked back at Deanna. "Maybe you're right. I'm glad you feel that way. I was worried I may have ruined our lunch."

"No, it wasn't you." She repeated with all the empathy she could muster without sounding like she felt sorry for him. "Not all Betazoids know how to be hospitable."

Since Chandra's house was in the opposite direction, they said their good byes. Then Deanna went to get the children and Will went back to the Embassy.

"Tang!" Will shouted in anger when he got back.

"Yes, sir? Did you enjoy your dinner?"

"No!"

"Why not it's a nice place." Tang insisted.

"Yeah, if you're a telepath." Will informed him.

"Well, honestly sir, I had no idea." Tang stated. "I only stated what I've seen on the outside and what others have told me."

"All Betazoids, I presume?"

"Well, yes sir. This planet is full of them, sir."

Sighing in frustration, Will shook his head and walked back to his office.



That evening Deanna, Will, and the twins were on their way to the Dinner party Lwaxana was giving for them.

"I do hope this dinner your mother is giving us goes better than lunch did." Will said.

"It will." Deanna reassured. "I can't see why it wouldn't."

"Knowing your mother, anything could happen." Will commented.

They arrived and Lwaxana was as exsuberant as usual and made her rounds around the room. She spotted them as Mr. Homn showed them to the dining area.

"There you two are!" She exclaimed. "Whatever took you so long to get here? You're fifteen minutes late! Now being fashionably late is fine if you are not the guests of honour!"

"Mother." Deanna greeted.

"Oh, and how are my littlest ones, today?" Lwaxana kneeled down to greet her grandchildren. "Give your grandmother a hug!"

As she hugged them she continues, "I can't believe I'm a grandmother! I am far too young to be a grandmother! Much less be called one, but what else are they going to call me?"

"Granny?" Will replied with a devilish smile.

"Well, I never!" Lwaxana exclaimed standing back up. "That sounds even worse!"

"Gwanny!" Will Jr. giggled out.

"Now look what you've done!" Lwaxana exclaimed. "Now you have him saying it!"

Will was still grinning. "Well, you know what they say."

"No, I don't." Lwaxana stated.

"Like father, like son."

"Let's hope not!" Lwaxana exclaimed.

"Mother," Deanna interrupted. "I hate to interrupt the two of your's lovely bantering, but don't you think the guest maybe getting hungry."

"Bantering?" Lwaxana asked taken slightly off guard.

"What? It wasn't enjoyable for you?" Will asked jokingly.

Lwaxana looked at him vexatiously.

Will just laughed and said, "Your guest appear to need their hostess."

Lwaxana looks back at the group. "Yes, you're right. I'll just have to deal with you and your son later." Then she walks back to the group of dinner guest.

"Alright everyone." She announced trying to be the center of attention again. "Mr. Hohm has dinner ready and our guests of honour are now here, so if everyone would take their seats Mr. Hohm will serve everyone."

As always, the gong was placed near the table. "Oh, no. Not that god awful gong."

Lwaxana gives Deanna a scolding look. "Yes, the gong." She sent. "You know we have to praise the gods for the food that is eaten."

Everyone sat at the table and Mr. Hohm served everyone present.

"Will." Lwaxana addressed him. "Am I to gather from Deanna's thought you are neglecting the children's spiritual upbringing?"

GONG!

"Excuse me?"

"Well, giving praise to the gods is spiritual in your language right?"

"Well, yes." Will replied.

GONG!

"So you don't give praise to the gods for food eaten?"

Everyone, including the Xerxes were staring at Lwaxana.

"Lwaxana." Garth tried to intercede. "Let's not start with tradition, philosophy or beliefs of Betazoids again. I really don't think it's appropriate to bring it up at this time."

"Of course not, Garth." Lwaxana replied with a frown. "You wouldn't. You allow your daughter to disrespect other houses."

GONG!

Now it was Garth's turn. "Excuse me?"

"Well, you and your wife didn't seem to be bothered in the least by your daughter disrespecting a Daughter of the Fifth House."

GONG!

"Lwaxana Troi!" Garth's wife was now in the conversation. "May I also remind you. We are of the Third House. I think we hold the reins of seniority around here."

"Well, I never! Taking age of a house as presidence for allowing disrespect!"

"Now, Lwaxana." Garth said. "Chandra was expressing her feelings appropriately."

Lwaxana holds her head up and states, "In our house the oldest woman in the family makes the decisions regardless of feelings. The children soon realize the purpose of it and appreciate it after a while."

GONG!

"Mother!" Deanna exclaimed. "It doesn't work that way any more and you know it."

"Well, I guess I'm going to have to teach my grandchildren how to praise the gods of Betazed since he has influenced you not to." Lwaxana said waving a hand as though she were brushing Deanna off.

GONG!

"Mrs. Troi, I have influenced nothing." Will informed. "Deanna chose not to have the gong, because well..."

GONG!

With her mouth full of food and glaring at Will, she ungracefully says, "Yes, go ahead. Say it. Not that we all don't know what you are about to say anyway. Except for maybe Mr. Tang, of course."

Tang took no notice of what she had said as he continued to eat.

"Annoying." Will finished.

GONG!

Deanna's nerves were now on edge. "He's right, Mother. I do find it very annoying."

"This is his fault! I know it is." Lwaxana exclaimed pointing at Will.

"No, Mother! It was my decision!" Deanna informed firmly.

GONG!

"Lwaxana," Garth tried to calm the situation. "I realize you feel very strongly about Betazoid tradition and all, but not all Betazoids, especially this younger generation, feel as you do anymore."

"I see why your daughter takes the attitude she does." Lwaxana stated. "You let her make her own choices, instead of insisting she stick with tradition."

GONG!

"That's not entirely true, Lwaxana." Garth's wife informs. "And I would appreciate it if you keep your thoughts to yourself on such matters until you have all the information."

Garth pats his wife's hand, trying to calm the tension that was building up within her and says. "While it's true we allow her to make some choices, and have all her life, she is now a grown woman with her own family now. She can decide whatever she wants for her family."

GONG!

"Thank you, Father." Chandra replies with a smile and puts her hand on her stomach.

"Chandra?" Lwaxana addresses her. "Do you praise the gods for your food and are you going to teach your daughter to, also?"

"No."

GONG!

Lwaxana's eyes grew wide and she almost choked on her last bite of food. "Somehow, I can't find a reason yet, but I blame Will for that too."

"Mrs. Troi, please!" Will said in protest. "I have had a long hard day and I really don't feel like putting up with anymore arrogant Betazoids!"

"Really!" Lwaxana said appaulled and puts her fork down. "I am NOT arrogant!"

"Lwaxana, he's right." Garth said. "You can be very arrogant."

"Garth Xerx! I'm shocked that you thought that!" She said.

"Well, Lwaxana, you know we Betazoids don't let every thought we have go wandering out of our minds." Garth said.

Tang sits eating his food and just smiles at the conversation.

"And what are you laughing about, young man?" Lwaxana asks, picking up her fork again and taking a bite.

GONG!

"Nothing really, ma'am." Tang replies.

"Well, maybe not, but you are wondering if all Betazoid dinner conversations go like this."

"They do if your mother is Lwaxana Troi." Deanna mumbled.

"Deanna!" Lwaxana said. "How dare you say such a thing!"

GONG!

"Well, Mother, I'm sick of this!" Deanna said. "Every dinner we attend, you're there and you always stir up discussions that are insulting or nerve racking!"

"Now, Little One, I really..."

Deanna gets up from the table saying, "I've had enough Mother! Enough of your calling me Little One, when I have little ones of my own and of your attitude at these events!" Then she rushes past the gong and knocks it over, releasing her anger and frustration. It vibrates as it hits the floor. As it does the twins start crying from the noise.

Deanna picks one of them up and says, "Will, will you get Kestra. I'm ready to leave."

"Deanna, you can't leave!" Lwaxana said in a panic. "This is your dinner party."

"No, Mother. It's YOUR dinner party." Deanna stated. "If it were mine, we would not have that damn gong, for starters and the conversation would definitely not go this way, if I had anything to say about it." Then adds sarcastically, "Thanks for the anniversary party, Mother."

Deanna then walks out of the house with Will Jr. in her arms and Will behind her with Kestra in arm and the stroller dragging behind him.

"Deanna!" Will shouted behind her. "Deanna!"

"What?" She asked still angry.

"Let's at least take the time to put them in the stroller."

She stopped suddenly. Then realized Kestra was getting a little heavy in her arms. "Yes, you're right. It is a bit of a walk to carry her all the way."

"I'm sorry, Will." She adds.

"For what?"

Deanna answers as they started walking again. "For how our anniversary has gone this year."

"Deanna," Will said with a smile. "The day is not over."

"Will Riker." She smiled. "Do you have something in mind?"

"Maybe." He said slyly.



When they got home they put the twins to bed and then Will puts an arm around Deanna. Then he turns to face her and places the other arm around her. He kisses her softly.

"How about you and I go to bed early and have our own celebration?"

Deanna smiles. "I'm ready to call it a night."

Will smiles and scoops her up in her arms. "Whoa!" She says a little startled, but laughs at the same time.

He then carries her off to their room saying, "This may be the best part of our anniversary celebration."

They celebrated their anniversary by themselves in love and pure passion until their energy was spent from making each other happy and satisfied. Then Deanna curled up against him as he held her in his arms.

Chapter Thirty-two

Almost two years had past and Will had grown more distant. He was, also, spending more nights looking at the night sky. Deanna sensed there was something troubling her Imzadi.

She walked outside and stood beside him. "Will, are you ok?"

He turned and looked at her. "Oh, yes, I'm fine."

"No, you're not." She stated firmly. "I can sense something is troubling you."

"Really, I'm fine."

She decided to change her approach and discuss what was on her mind. "Will, I want to go back and finish my studies."

"Well, in a couple more years the children will be in school."

"No, now!" She said very firmly. More firmly than she has intended.

"Deanna, I thought we discussed we'd wait until they were in school?"

"They are old enough to go to pre-school and the university has a very good one."

"Fine." Will said with some hidden anger. "Do what you feel you need to do."

"I don't think you're really angry with me."

"How can you be sure about that?" Will asked. "We had decided together you would wait until they were five and now you want to change your mind without discussing it with me."

"That's just it. I am discussing it with you now." She said. "And you are displacing anger on to me."

Will sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "You're right. I am." He agreed. "I... I don't know what I want anymore."

"You're restless."

"Well, I don't know if that's it." He replied with some doubt.

"I'm sensing restlessness. Like you feel you need a change or something."

"Maybe." Will said. "This past year and a half I've wanted to get away."

"From what?"

"Well, it's not you and the children. That's for damn sure." He said. "Your mother sometimes." He chuckled.

Deanna let out a slight laugh. "Sometimes I've had that feeling too."

"I don't know what it is."

"I think I do." She said walking around in front of him, so she could see his face. "You're wanting to be out there." She gestured to the sky.

"A part of me does, yes."

Deanna looked a little saddened. "I was afraid this day would come."

"What are you talking about?" He asked defensively.

"Will, you're desire is to be out there flying through space, be the best officer there ever was and beat Kirk's record."

"I told you long ago, my priorities have changed."

"Have they?" She asked. "In less than six months after we came back here, together, you got promoted for your valiant service to the Federation concerning the Sindereen incident. Now, all you do is stare up at the night sky."

"You know, Deanna, for once in your life, you are sensing wrong." He said, walking back into the house and he was still on the defensive when he turned towards her before entering to say. "You are dead wrong!" He then walked inside.

"Then why are you so defensive?" She asked as she followed him into the house.

"I don't know, Counselor. You tell me." He said, and for the first time in a long time, he stated what he knew was her endeaver. The reason she was going back to finish her studies.

"Alright, I'll admit it." She said. "I want to be the best counselor in Starfleet, but you want me to stay home with the children and wait. Now, I come to you and say I'm ready to move on and finish what I started before the children were born and you don't like it."

"That's not true!" Will said louder than he meant to say it.

Deanna sighed. "Will, where is this going?"

"What do you mean?"

"Everything."

"I have no idea what you are talking about."

"I think you do." She insisted.

"What? My career? Your studies? Your career? This family? Our marriage? What?"

"All of it, Will!" She said sharply. "You don't talk to me anymore."

"I talk to you." He insisted. "I'm here to help and support you with the kids and I know they are not easy to take care of when you're here by yourself with them."

"No, you're not, Will." Deanna insisted. "You're here physically, but your mind is not. It's out there some where." She gestured upward with her hand.

"Maybe you're right. Maybe I do want to be on a Starship and beat Kirk's record, still." He said hostilely.

"Well, at least now we're admitting to what we want." Deanna firmly stated.

"No, it's what you think I want." He informed her and then he heads for the front door.

With alarm Deanna says, "Where are you going?"

"To hell if I'm not careful."

"Will, we really do need to talk." Deanna said, as if she were clinging to a last shred of hope to get Will to talk to her.

"What's there to talk about? You know what you want and you know what I want." He said, then with thick sarcasm he adds, "I think if I plan it right, there's still time to break Kirk's record."

"Will, this is not like you!" Deanna said.

"Maybe not." He said, as he walked out the door.

Deanna sat down in a chair and cried. "This didn't go well." Deanna thought to herself. "All I wanted was to talk to him and he talk to me. Now, he's walked out the door."



Will gets to the Embassy and heads straight to his office. It was after midnight, so the Embassy was basically quiet and there really was not anything he could do at this hour, but he sits down at his desk and tries to lay back in his chair and doze.

However, sleep did not come. "What the hell did I just do?" He asked himself aloud. "Deanna's right and I'm too afraid to admit it."

He puts in a call to Starfleet Headquarters on Earth.

"Lieutenant Commander William Riker." Said the admiral. "It must be late there on Betazed."

"Yes, sir it is." Will said. "There's something I'd like to discuss with you."



Morning had come and Deanna had not slept all night. She tried hard to get a general sense of Will, but she realized her own emotions were getting in her way. She just could not take her mind off of what happened last night.

0700 hours came and went. No Will. During that time she had gotten the children up and dressed for the day and fed them.

0800 hours, still no Will. Finally, at 0900 Will walked back through the door. Deanna ran into the living with a smile, but it quickly faded when she sensed Will's mood.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"Nothing." He paused for a moment. The mood in the air was forlorning. "Everything."

"Would you like to talk about it now?" She asked hopefully.

"Deanna," Will began. "I requested a transfer back to the Hood. A Captain Desoto is now the commanding officer of that ship."

"And?"

"You and the twins are welcome to come aboard with me."

Deanna turned around to face away from him. "I can't." She said softly. Tears started falling from her eyes.

Will was confused. "I don't understand. Why not?"

She turns back around to face him with the tears still trailing down her face. "You don't get it, do you?"

"If this is because of your mother."

"No!" She exclaimed. "It's me! Just as much as you want so desperately to have your own damn ship one day, I want to be a counselor."

"And who cares about what the children need?"

"That's not what I'm saying, Will and you know it." She said. "You're the one who's leaving."

"Deanna, I'll be back for shore leave and you three can visit me if you really feel you want to stay here."

"It's not the same." She insisted.

"No, it's not." He admitted.

She sobbed louder. "Go, just go, if it's what you feel you really want."

She started to walk away, but Will grabbed her and pulled her close to him. She sobbed into his chest as he held her.

Will kissed the top of her head and said, "Imzadi, I love you. I will be back and if I know you three, you will come for a visit when you can. I'm not abandoning you guys, I'm just going to be on a ship."

Deanna continued crying and said nothing. She finally sent to him, "As I said, Imzadi, I knew this day would finally come."

Will continued to hold her a while longer in silence. He hated the fact that he was going and they were staying behind on Betazed, but for some reason he felt they had to do this. He did not know why he felt that way, but he felt that for now it had to be.

The twins finally walked in and tugged on their daddy's pant legs. It was Will Jr. who spoke though, "Daddy, wat wong wit mama?"

Will did not have the heart at that moment to tell his son how to say his words right. Instead, he let Deanna go, then he bent down to his children, wrapped an arm around each of them and pulled them up close to him.

"I know you two are just three years old, but I'm going to try and explain this anyway." Will began. "Daddy has to go and be on a starship. You two remember what that is right?"

Kestra was quick to say no, but Will Jr. thought as hard as a three year old could. "Sarship. Sar."

"No, son, star."

"Ssstar." Trying to get in every letter. Then he slowly remembered his father talking to him about ships not too long ago. "Starship. Those ships that fly in space?"

"Yes." Will confirmed with a smile, until he noticed Kestra was wiggling away from him and moved over to their mother. Deanna kneeled down to Kestra's level and held Kestra in her arms.

Will continued, "Well, that's where I have to go for now. You three can come visit me on the ship and I'll come see you when I can."

"We get to be on ship?" Will Jr. asked excitedly.

"When you come visit." Will smiled again.

"Why we don't go too?" He asked his dad.

"Well, your mother wants to stay here and go to school."

"We go to school too?" Asked Will Jr.

Will chuckled. "Yes, you and your sister will go to school too."

"Yea!" Will Jr. said with a smile.

"Kestra?" Will tried to get her attention, but she would not look at him.

"Kessa feel like Mama."

Will was surprised. Not by the fact Junior called his sister Kessa. He had been doing that since he started talking, but it was by the fact Junior said his sister felt like their mama.

"Um, Will." Will said to his son calmly.

"Yes, Daddy?"

"Could you do me a favour and take your sister to your room to play?"

"Why Daddy?"

"I need to talk to your mother."

"Oh."

Junior offered a hand to his sister. "No!" She said.

"Kestra." Will said firmly. "I need to talk to your mother. Go to your room for a few minutes."

"No!" She clung tighter to her mother.

Will decided he did not want another argument with another female in his life, so he decided to talk to Deanna anyway.

"Why didn't you tell me they were empathic?"

"They're not empathic, at least not yet." Deanna stated as she stood with Kestra. "If you remember, that doesn't occur until they hit puberty."

"Then how does he know how Kestra feels?"

"For one thing, I think she maybe feeding off of my feelings." Deanna surmised, still holding Kestra in her arms. "The other thing is, twins do have a unique form of communication."

"Not like that." Pointing in his son's direction. Will's statement was more of a question than it was an actual statement, but he was very perplexed by it all at the same time.

"Any thing is possible, but I assure you they are not telepathic or empathic as of yet, Will." Deanna had a lot of anger behind her voice, but it had nothing to do with Will's wonder about his children.

Will was doubtful of Deanna's statement, but he did not persue the subject any further. The house became really quiet and the only conversation Will noticed was Deanna trying to comfort Kestra. It was a silent conversation, not unlike ones he had seen before between mother and child on Betazed and not the first one he had seen between Deanna and their children. However, for some strange reason, he became uncomfortable seeing them converse in silence this time. He had no idea what Deanna was saying to her, but he knew it was nothing negetive against him. Even so, he still felt discomforted by it.

"It's OK, Kestra." Deanna sent to her, while brushing stray hairs out of her daughter's face with her fingers.

"But you're sad, Mommy. I don't like that." Tears were falling from both their eyes.

"I know, but I'll be alright and we'll see your father again soon."

"You don't believe it, though."

"I do, but I'm just sad right now."

"I don't want Daddy to go."

"Niether do I, hun, but he has to."

"Why?"

Deanna searched for a plausable answer to give her three year old daughter. Finally Deanna sent to her, "Because Starfleet, the people who tell your daddy what job he's suppose to do, want him to and your daddy decided he wanted to serve on a ship."

"We go to school and he stay here, with us."

"He can't, Kestra. He has to go."

"Not fair!" Kestra screamed in her head. Deanna sensed her daughter's thought and winced at the powerful emotions behind it.

Deanna hugged her daughter's head close to her and sent, "I know, but that's the way it is."

Will broke the silence finally. "Well, I..." He stammered, not knowing exactly what to say or how to say it. Then he just decides to say it. "I guess I better get ready to leave on the next shuttle to join the Hood."

Will finished getting his belongings together and walked back out to the living area. He set his suit case down at the door. Deanna said nothing to Will and when he was actually ready to leave, she was still silent.

"A person needs a sharp knife to cut through this silence." Will said. "Deanna, aren't you going to say anything to me before I leave?"

"I wish you safe voyage." Her voice quivered a little as she said it, but she refused to let him see her cry again.

"That's it? Not even a hug and a kiss good bye?"

When Deanna just stood there looking at him and made no action towards him, he turned and started to walk out the door. As he opened the door he stops and turns back around. "Deanna."

It was too late. Deanna had left the room and no one, but himself, was left in the room. Will opened the door the rest of the way and departed.

Go To Chapters Thirty-three and Thirty-four

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